One Year

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Today I spent half the day in bed in fear. Dreading the phone call that I was certain was going to come today. My stomach was in knots and I think I even gave myself a fever.

On Friday I had my final 3-month appointment with my dermatologist. It went pretty well, she burned a wart, froze something else (I forget what it was) and she also cut something off that looked funny. That was the one I was concerned about. The one that looked, and acted, funny.

I tried to put it out of my mind, knowing that it would be several days before I would hear anything, but that's never possible, is it? When I woke up today, I knew today would be the day I heard. As the day went on I began feeling physically worse and worse. My stomach was upset and I took medication for that and then I began to feel feverish and took myself to bed.

About 3:00 the call came. Not melanoma again. It was "pre-cancerous." Something that we'll keep an eye on, but it should be fine. Fine.

Blah blah blah was all I heard after I heard "not melanoma." And I rushed to hang up.

That second I began sobbing. The relief I felt was almost overwhelming. I sat and cried and cried while my dogs jumped all over me and curled up in my lap and whined. They licked my tears - the tears that kept coming. The snuggled me and nuzzled me and did everything they could to make me feel better.

What I realized is that I have spent this last year, since the melanoma diagnosis and surgery, examining my body. Every new freckle a cause for intense alarm. I have gone into every doctor appointment ready with my list of concerns. This thing over my left eye. This other thing right next to the last melanoma. What about this on my leg.

I'm on red alert always.

The funny thing is - I know better. I wrote this post a year ago about clean pain vs. dirty pain when I was diagnosed with melanoma in the first place.. I know what it means to actually have something wrong with you (clean pain) and what it means to make up a story about it (dirty pain). And try as I might to avoid it, this past year I have lived in dirty pain.

That ends now. I'm ready to be FREE from dirty pain. Ready to move on thinking health and well-being thoughts instead of cancer thoughts. Ready to raise my vibration to one of love for my body instead of suspicion about it. I know what needs to be done and I'm finally ready to do it.

Introduction to Desire Mapping

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This is a five-day exploration in identifying your deepest desires based on the best-selling book The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

You want it.

Aspiring. Hoping. Reaching. So you make a plan to get it. The bucket list. To-do lists. Objectives. Goals.

Except…

You’re not chasing the goal, you’re chasing a feeling you hope the goal will give you. So what if you first get clear on how you actually want to feel in your life, and then set your intentions? Game-changer.

Created by Danielle LaPorte, The Desire Map is a tool for holistic living. It puts your Core Desired Feelings at the heart of your goal setting and life planning. And it all begins with YOUR FEELINGS.

Want a taste? Introduction to Desire Mapping is a five-day digital exploration in identifying your deepest desires. It’s the first part of the Desire Mapping process.

Desire to Feel Better? Ya, you do.

Sign up for the email course using this link. It's totally free! You have naught to lose and everything to gain!

“Knowing how you want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerful thing you can do with your life.”  — Danielle LaPorte, Author & Speaker

What you will get from this course:

‣ Daily exercises sent to your inbox for tuning into your inner desires.

‣ Bonus recordings for some auditory love.

‣ Clarity on how you feel and how you want to feel.

UPDATE 2/10/18 I am no longer hosting this.

Images in this post ©Danielle LaPorte, 2016.

Get Your Soul On The Agenda Desire Map Workshop

My Desire Map workshop is OPEN!

A guided experience for making more empowered choices.

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Create your life with pure and powerful intention. What goes into your cupboards and closets, what goes into your body, the people you spend time with, the gifts you give, how you worship, the thoughts you focus on. Clutter is a choice. Anger is a choice. Resentment is a choice. But so are spaciousness, flexibility, laughter, compassion, tenderness, and resilience. Empowered choices are the choices that take your body, mind, and spirit into consideration. My wish for you is that making these empowered choices comes easily to you. That’s why I’m inviting you to my Desire Map workshop: Get Your Soul On The Agenda!

In this workshop, inspired by the best selling book, The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte, we’re going through a soul-heart-body experience that helps you feel good. Every day. Because knowing how you want to feel is one of the most important forms of clarity you can have.

You know what happens when that kind of inner clarity meets outer action? You’ll feel the way you want to feel more often than not. Decisions will be easier to make. You’ll know when to say “No, thank-you” and “Hell, yes!” You’ll be more optimistic, more openhearted. Your life will ease up on the grinding and and fill up with more…ease.

For more details on exactly what we’ll cover at the workshop, dates and sign-up fees, click here. {add link}

You are here to design a life that feels good: when you wake up, when you go to work, when you cook dinner, create something. The Desire Map has changed the way I live my life, and I am so thrilled to share this experience with you.

I’d be honored to support you in doing everything that makes you come alive at my Desire Map workshop.

Lots of Love,

Laurie