After a conversation with a close friend about her new venture in life and hope, I've challenged myself to come up with 200 limiting beliefs/painful thoughts I currently have. Limiting beliefs can be any thought that is holding you back from living the life you love. It can be a REALLY painful thought (No one loves me), or something so ingrained that you believe about yourself that you don’t even notice it (I’ve always been clumsy). My therapist once said that anything negative you believe about yourself isn’t true. It’s been taught to you…someone said it or you made it up about yourself via the old “compare and despair” syndrome. I have to admit, I'm kind of surprised at the ease with which I am able to come up with my own limiting beliefs. I'll share with you one of my more recent ones. I had this thought a couple of years ago, "I can't go to Hawaii until I can wear a bathing suit without cringing in the mirror." Yes, I actually thought and believed that. And of, course, saying it aloud now it seems so silly and obviously untrue, but these are the kinds of thoughts that regularly float through our heads and hold us back from living the life we desire. For example, if I hadn’t worked through that thought, the photo above would not have been possible. I also had it in my head that I had to wear a bikini or some such thing if I was ever going to learn to surf. Well, all evidence to the contrary, because here I am in board shorts and a rash guard learning to surf. One of the best things I’ve ever done for myself…in Hawaii. Some other examples of limiting beliefs:
- I have to stay in this job.
- I don't have enough money (time, energy, intelligence).
- I have to be small for others to like me/I can't be too big for my britches.
- I don't know enough/I have to be an expert.
- I can’t be self-indulgent/love myself too much.
- I don’t know how to take care of myself.
- I’m the only one who can…
- My spouse should be nicer to me.
- I’ll never get a rasie/They don’t appreciate me at work.
Find Your Limiting Beliefs
I am going to encourage you right now to take out some paper and a pencil and begin making your own list. See if you can find five of these kinds of thoughts. It’s important to notice when you’re having them. Shining a light on these beliefs and thoughts is the first step to getting them behind us. If you're feeling brave, I'd love it if you share one or two of them in the comments below. The next steps have to do with working through the thoughts. You may or may not have heard of Byron Katie. She is the guru of working through painful thoughts with a process called “Inquiry” or “The Work.” If you’re interested in more information about her, she has a website and a book called, “Loving What Is” that is a total game-changer with respect to moving through painful thoughts and limiting beliefs. Having said that, I have found that it is most effective to work through these thoughts with someone else because when we are in the middle of these thoughts it’s hard to see any other way to think. An objective third party to your thoughts can be just the ticket to opening up possibilities of thinking and believing a different way. A less painful way. That’s where I come in. One of my favorite things to do as a coach is help people to “Inquire” into their thoughts and discover a less painful way to think and live. Since we are done with all of the lovey-dovey of Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to keep love going and offer a "Pay What You Can" for a single session. This is an $85 value that you can snap up today for whatever you can afford to pay. Please note this is for a single session only and does not apply to any of my coaching packages. Once you’ve clicked on this Pay Now button, you’ll be taken to the PayPal website. You’ll see a field called “Item Price” and you’ll fill in your price. Continue through the payment process and I’ll email you within the next day or two to set up our appointment. Make sure you’ve entered the email address at which you want to receive my email. I'm going to limit this offer to the first 5 people who pay simply because I need to fit them into my existing schedule. Today I’m wishing you a day filled with Self Love!!! Update: I've removed the Pay Now link as I've had 5 people sign up. Thank you!!!