Hostess With The Mostess


In today's Note From The Herd I want to share a situation that happened A couple of years ago with this amazing horse, Cisco.

I was in the corral with the horses and I was having an awesome moment with Cicso. We were talking and I was petting him. There may have been nuzzling. After a few minutes of it, Lorraine, who was observing with the horses and Sherry that day, came out of the house and was entering the corral. I turned around and began to ask her if she needed help and then, when her interest in working with horses had begun.

She and I started chatting and the next thing I knew, Cicso had walked away, basically as far away from me as he could get and turned his rump toward me. Not good.

I knew in an instant what had happened. I knew that because I had gone from being in my body and super present, to completely in my head and playing "hostess" that I was out of integrity and therefore, the horse wanted nothing to do with me.

The horses are so awesome that way. Such great teachers that show us our glaring issues. Mine was that I felt like I had to be "on." And I know this stems from growing up with a father who was a politician. I always had to smile and make people feel welcome, even when it was the last thing I wanted to do. It wasn't authentic. Honestly, I didn't know Lorraine, I was never going to be friends with Lorraine and there was no reason in that moment to be trying to make Lorraine feel comfortable. It wasn't my job and more importantly IT WASN'T NECESSARY!  She was fine and did not need me ensuring her comfort.

Lessons for a Lifetime

More than anything, this is the point that I want to make about working with horses in this manner. That even these one-minute encounters shine a light, a very bright light, on who we are and the ways in which we might want to change how we move through the world. I don't need to be the world's hostess, nor do I want to be!!! And I am much more aware now of when I'm putting on my "political hostess" hat and taking off my Laurie hat. And the Laurie hat is the one I want tot be wearing. I want to be someone genuine and real. I want to extend a hand in help if you need it, but not because I think that is what will win me some imaginary contest that doesn't even exist! I want to get to know people, but when the circumstances are appropriate for it. Not during my counseling session!

Last Couple of Weeks

This is the last post that I'm going to write about the horses. I have shared a lot of personal stories and enough I think to help elucidate the many and varied benefits of working with them.

I'm going to close registration for my next Everyday Grace Retreat on August 15. There is one spot left and if you feel it calling to you, I urge you to snap it up!  I can promise you this retreat and the workshop with the horses will absolutely change your life.

Laurie Jacobsen

Graphic Designer, Life Coach and Maker. Living the dream in Tucson, Arizona.